Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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