i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
