i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
