When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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