Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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