very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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