Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
