maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
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Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
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He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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