I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
