She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
So apparently I’m into choking now
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