so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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