Please, let me fuck your mom
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
