guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
