Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
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Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
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Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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