i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
