When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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