Pregnant stripper...not hot.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
