Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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