Acid is not a monday night drug
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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