plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
