those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
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