i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
