Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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