8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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