Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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