Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize