I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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