We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
