i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
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there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
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Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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