you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We talked him into tasing himself.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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