Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
