going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
