You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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