what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
