Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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