Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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