I can't breathe out the right side of my face
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
