The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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