they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
