Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
