I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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