So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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