Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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