she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
