Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
