I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
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Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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