Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Girls should come with a carfax report
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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