Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
