i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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