why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I am naked and annoyed.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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