what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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