Buhtt sex?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
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