It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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