The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
