we have pet lesbian snakes
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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