TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
