Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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