Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I still have a little drunk in my system
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
