whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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