i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
