i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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