McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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