I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
